Since I was diagnosed with the big three I have found it hard to enjoy things and never look forward to anything. In fact I would usually dread it!
One of the things I have noticed now that I am feeling better is how much more enjoyable things are. I am worrying less and actually having a nice time. I went out at the weekend and I really enjoyed the event, listening to some live music and I wasn’t worried about the crowds or concerned about getting home, I was just having fun.
Now that I am starting to feel like this I am starting to realise that I really am so much better than I was. I can look back and not only remember the difference but also feel the difference in myself.
Something I can’t yet control though is the nagging feeling in the very back of my mind that seems to be questioning whether it is OK for me to be feeling like this.
When you have felt so down on yourself for such a long time, so certain that you don’t deserve nice things or to be happy it is a little bit hard to accept that you are. It is so important to accept it though. We spend so much of our time worrying and sad that we need to enjoy the good times when they come. Take them in and make memories.
These times will come and go and it won’t always be the best day ever but it is because of this that we need to let ourselves be happy and enjoy these times when we have them. Embrace them and the people involved and keep them with you for as long as you can.
It is these times that help make the struggles worth while. These are the rewards for all the days you have had to fight to get up and get through the day. They make it all worth while and everyone deserves as many of them as possible!