Anxiety is not a friendly beast, when it gets its claws into you it is very hard to break free. This happens to me at the strangest times, frequently when I am in Sainsbury’s! Not the most scary of places but such is the beast…
When it does raise its head it is hard to shift it. For me it grips my chest and causes me to spiral very quickly. I am very much a flighter when it comes to my anxiety. This is purely because I know what happens if I don’t get myself somewhere I feel safe and start to relax. There is nothing to be ashamed of when this happens, you just have to remember to take the time you need to come out of it. Mine is always so much worse when I am tired. Sleep is something I really need and when I haven’t slept well I am a completely different person, I can’t function and I am a horror to be around.
Finding somewhere you feel safe and comfortable is the key to managing anxiety. That and breathing! I am big on forgetting to breath. If somewhere makes it worse it is OK to avoid it. I recently stopped going to a fitness class because the location made me anxious. The class itself was great but I can’t get my head out of the fear I won’t be happy in the location so I have avoided going. Once it gets lighter in the evenings again I think I will start it up but keeping myself calm is more essential for me.
Some places are easier to avoid that others, I have been determined not to avoid supermarkets for the rest of my life and 9 times out of 10 I am fine to go shopping now. I had to force myself into doing this, it would have been so much easier to just get my shopping delivered but then I would have stopped interacting with people altogether so I pushed through. When I do start to worry (like I did today) I just finish what I am doing, pay up and head home.
I am now cosy in my bubble and considering heading out to pick up the bits I forgot today! Such is life when you are a little bit mental! I’ll take some more time to overthink this and see where the evening takes me!