It’s hard to get used to talking about not being well and the struggles of life. At first you keep it to yourself feeling ashamed or hiding your thoughts from the people closest to you. Once you open up you realise it isn’t just you and everyone has their own story to tell.
Having a circle of people you trust to talk about things with is essential in any kind of recovery. A support network to share your worries with but also to listen to when they are having a hard time.
The hardest thing for me to talk about is my eating, I struggle on a daily basis with this. Every day I worry about it and feel self-conscious. Opening up about it makes it real and I start to feel ashamed of myself for letting it happen.
After finally opening up about this to a group of my closest friends they really helped me to understand that it is all part of the same mental health issue that I struggle with. It’s not something that I do intentionally and dealing with day to day is difficult but realising I am getting better is a big step forward. I shouldn’t blame myself and I should be proud of how far I have come, I also shouldn’t put myself down or look at myself with such a negative outlook. The way you look isn’t important. It’s all about the way you feel. Once you are at peace with who you are life is a little easier. I’m still trying to find my peace but it’s closer than it was before!
A few months ago the thought of sitting around a diner table and opening up about the last few years would have filled me with dread. I wouldn’t have been able to have gone and if I did I would have been quiet or over compensated entirely. Pretending that I am better than I am. Sitting with some of my favourite people and chatting for hours was the best thing.
I am very lucky to have close friends and family that I can talk to and share thoughts and feelings with. They are the best recipe for recovery and I wouldn’t be without them!